Normally, I've got some grand scheme ideas brewing for K's birthday trip quite literally years in advance, but with all of the travel restrictions going on, we took a totally random approach on year thirteen and more or less ended up throwing a peg at the map. Kennedy loves coasters and had never been to Six Flags, so I figured I'd surprise her with a trip to Dallas, Texas....
...And lucky for us, Dallas tagged along too!
We were only there for two nights, but quickly realized Dallas is an awesome destination for any travel group. On day one, we scoped out the sight of JFK's assassination. There are permanent markings on Elm Street, showing where the Lincoln Continental was positioned at the points of impact, a memorial garden, and a museum located within the former Texas School Book Depository building, of which Oswold was said to have been perched.
We also spent a day at the Dallas World Aquarium which, to Kennedy's delight, had a penguin exhibit; to Dallas' delight, had a flamingo exhibit; and to my delight, had a whale that was evidentally crossbred with Mitch McConnell (see TikTok for video).
Then, we went to Arlington's Six Flags Over Texas for a day of unexpected hilarity amongst their rink-a-dink death traps and truly unparalleled trailor trash entertainment. A few of the rides seriously should have been put out of commission in the nineties (ahem, I'm looking at you, Runaway Mine Train), but there also were a bunch of incredibly unique attractions too. For instance, if Cool Runnings and a death wish made a baby, it would be La Vibora - Six Flags' bobsled coaster without a track. (Us on repeat: "This doesn't feel safe, this doesn't feel safe!")
Then, there is an entire Gotham-themed section, which includes probably the coolest coaster I've ever rode, the Joker! (We actually rode it on repeat, cause we wanted to try it facing both ways... seriously, the best). Honorable mentions extended to El Diablo and Titan...
And I can't fail to refer you to Reverend Butter's fan page.While Kennedy risked her life on rides way out of our purview, Dallas and I watched the Reverend's ice sculpture show. And I realize as I type this that it sounds incredibly lame, but to quote his bio (which I had not seen until today!) "Artic Lumberjack. Ice is my Life. Leather is my Vice."
You guys, it was probably the most entertaining fifteen minutes of our lives. Somehow, I predicted out the gate ---- like straight up from the ice block --- that he was going to sculpt a tramp stamp butterfly with a chainsaw.... AND that there would be pyrotechnics, a smoke machine, and 80's hair band rock n' roll. Like seriously, it's been two years and I still can't pinpoint what happened to me in my childhood to allow me to call that... but if it's any indication of my telepathy, I know a seven year old whose gonna be headed to Daytona in 2034, to get a barbed wire back tat with her skeezy boyfriend. (This is so wrong of me to put in writing, I can't even tell you.)
And in anycase, it wouldn't be a #DOTR trip without a bunch of good eats. (Major, unanticipated props to Dallas for being an unexpected foodie-hub).
We did Kennedy's birthday dinner at Nobu, where Dallas' tongue was fortuitously impaled by an eel bone...
Lunch, libations, and apparently a full-fledge photoshoot at The Henry, starring Kennedy's beanie...
A boozy Veuve brunch at Chelsea Corner...
Sunday prix-fixe at the Rosewood Mansion that absolutely knocked it out of the park...
And dinner at the Tulum Experience with Chef Jose Meza. Tulum is one of my favorite venues, period. Like I will never go to Dallas without going there. Every dish is so good - and it has such a great bar... but it's the kind of great bar where I took seventy-five shots of tequila instead of taking pictures of our food, so you'll just have to trust me. (Blame/thank our bartender, the one and only, Sugar Baby Braxton.)
Happy 13th Birthday, Kennedy (written after your fifteenth, but hey... When you're busy living life in the present, it's hard to pause and post).
Suggested Minimum Length of Stay: Two Nights
Favorite Accommodations: Rosewood Mansion, Ritz Carlton
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